


Stars In Her Ocean

by yarnandtea



Category: Dragon Age, Mass Effect
Genre: Crack Pairing, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-30
Updated: 2012-10-30
Packaged: 2017-11-17 09:41:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yarnandtea/pseuds/yarnandtea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isabela never could keep her hands to herself. This time her attraction to shiny objects lands her right in the middle of a whole new world, where she runs into the crew of the Normandy trying to recover from their crash. It doesn't take long before she finds something new that she can't keep her hands off of: Major Kaidan Alenko.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stars In Her Ocean

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> A while back there was a Tumblr meme going around and jillyfae answered in it that her favorite crossover OTP would probably be Isabela/Kaidan, largely so she could indulge in their sexy voices together. That idea kind of got under my skin and wouldn't leave me alone. This is what came out of it. I don't know how well I did the voice kink, but I tried. Jilly, I gift this to you. It is, after all, entirely your fault. (Okay, not really, but let me pretend to myself.)
> 
> This is just fully ridiculous and I wholly acknowledge that. That being said, however, I hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> Some mild spoilers for the end of ME3.

**Isabela**

"I knew it! I _knew_ Anders was lying about there being no such thing as banishment spells!"

Isabela looked down at the amulet in her hand and brought it up for a closer examination. It did no good. She still couldn't make out the writing on it. She shrugged and slid the amulet over her neck. Likely it was the key to getting back to Kirkwall. Best to keep it close. At least it was a very _pretty_ enchanted amulet. She never could resist the particularly shiny baubles. Which was what had gotten her into this whole mess in the first place, of course.

Hopefully the others were still back at Xenon's already at work on trying to find out where she had gone. In the meantime, she supposed she might as well try to figure out where she actually was. Too bad it was still daylight. She'd have a much easier time getting her bearings once the stars came out.

"Well," she drawled, looking around her new surroundings. The land was lush, and the air was full of the pungent smell of green growing things. She thought she could hear running water in the distance so she headed in that direction. "I certainly would have preferred a port or a brothel. But I suppose as far as places to be banished go, this isn't so bad."

**Kaidan**

"Like it or not, Major, with Loco MIA, _you're_ the ranking officer until we get back in contact with Earth." James grunted and hitched up the bucket of water he was carrying, taking care not to spill it. The ship's water reclamation system mostly seemed to be in working order, but Kaidan didn't want to take any chances, so he had ordered they use fresh water while they were stranded. It was readily available enough.

"I know, I know." He sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. "It's just--" Kaidan sighed again. "With Shepard go-- _missing_ , and EDI down, everyone is looking to me for answers. And I don't have any."

James nodded but remained silent. Kaidan was glad of it. He wasn't sure what reassurances the younger man could provide him with, but it was good to know he was there to listen, at least. James understood, but he wasn't about to sugar-coat things. It was one of Kaidan's favorite things about the guy.

"Did you hear that?" James stopped short as he asked the question. Kaidan arched an eyebrow at him but stopped as well, listening. After a moment he heard a rustling sound coming from the heavy underbrush behind them. The sound was soft, whatever it was probably would have been silent anywhere else. Kaidan was impressed James had heard the noise at all.

It _could_ just be an animal. The heavy foliage made it difficult for anything or anyone to move completely silently. Still, they hadn't seen anything big enough to make that much noise since they'd crashed here. Slowly, silently, Kaidan set down his bucket of water and reached for his gun. He heard James do the same behind him. Both men took aim and waited.

There was one more burst of rustling and then a woman pushed through the bushes, stopping abruptly when she saw them.

**Isabela**

Isabela emerged from the brush and onto the bank of the river and was greeted by the sight of two men in strange clothing aiming even stranger looking weapons directly at her. She assumed they were weapons, at any rate, though she had never seen their like. They way the men held them was a pretty clear indicator of their purpose.

"Oh good!" She exclaimed, deciding to just ignore the potential threat for the moment. "I thought I heard voices. Maybe one of you could be so kind as to tell me where I am exactly?"

Her clever ploy worked. The younger man looked at his companion and then shrugged before replacing his weapon in a sheath of some kind that was strapped to his leg. It was rather fetching, she realized, going nicely with his tight shirt and all of those muscles the garment did nothing to hide.

She looked at the other man expectantly, allowing her lips to quirk up into a friendly smirk. He looked at her intently for a few moments longer before relaxing his stance. His weapon was slung across his back, held in place by a strap of some sort.

"Well," she quipped, widening her smile, "now that we've moved past the threatening each other portion of this encounter, maybe we can move on to introductions. I'm Isabela, and you are?"

"Vega," the younger man said with a chuckle. "Lieutenant Vega, at your service, ma'am." Vega's friend frowned, still watching her. When he didn't say anything after a moment, Vega spoke up again. "This here's Major Alenko."

"Charmed, I'm sure." Isabela answered with a smile. "Now, back to my original question of where I might be...?"

Alekno sighed and finally relaxed his stance completely. He rubbed a hand against the nape of his neck.

"We ah--we don't exactly know." His tone was apologetic, but Isabela hardly noticed. She was too busy savoring the gravely sound of his voice. She looked at him a little more closely and saw that he was exhausted. A quick glance at Vega confirmed that, while much more perky, he too also seemed to be at the end of his rope. She hoped that wasn't an indication of what this place held in store for her. Apparently thinking her silence meant she needed further explanation, Alenko added, "Our ship crashed, you see. We haven't been able to pinpoint where here is yet."

"You have a ship?" This perked Isabela up considerably.

"A crashed one," Vega replied, amused. "Though probably not beyond salvaging." That was certainly good to hear.

Vega looked at Alenko and raised his eyebrows, asking a silent question. The two men shared an intent look and then Alenko just shrugged and nodded before leaning over to pick up a bucket of water and trudging off down the bank.

"So, uh, you're welcome to come with us, if you want," Vega said, picking up a bucket of his own. "Back to the ship. That way when we do figure out where we are, you'll know too."

"That sounds delightful!" Vega turned to follow Alenko, and Isabela walked by his side. Her mind was already racing with how she might go about procuring their ship for her own purposes.

**Kaidan**

He listened to the woman, Isabela, make small talk with James on the way back to the Normandy. He wasn't so sure bringing her along was a good idea, but she was clearly just as lost as they were. That thought made him stop and turn around, surprising the other two.

"Isabela," he said slowly, trying to ignore the way she smiled at him when he spoke, "how is it exactly that _you_ don't know where we are either?"

"Oh, that," she said flippantly. "That's a long tale filled with daring exploits and dashing companions and--"

James coughed and Isabela gave him a slightly annoyed look. Even Kaidan could tell he was trying to cover up laughter.

"Oh fine," Isabela huffed, crossing her arms. "Take all of the fun out of it." She looked back and forth between the two men and then declared, "I've been banished!" She looked at them expectantly, clearly hoping for some show of sympathy from the two men.

"Banished," Kaidan said dryly, not amused. Isabela pouted a little and he tried to ignore the sensation that stirred up inside him. Now was not the time. Nor was it the time to realize that she didn't seem to actually be wearing pants. Just some very enticing boots that nevertheless left much of her legs bare. He gave himself a mental shake, dispelling that line of thought.

"Yes, banished." Isabela insisted. "Though not on purpose, if that's what you're thinking." Kaidan arched his eyebrows and she sighed, continuing, "My friends and I were shopping at, shall we say a questionable establishment, and I noticed this lovely gem," she indicated one of the necklaces she wore. It was nestled quite nicely in her cleavage. Again, he gave himself a mental shake, trying to focus on her words. "When I picked it up to get a closer look I felt this weird tingle all over and then POOF! Here I was."

Kaidan blinked. He opened his mouth to speak but then shut it again, unable to come up with a suitable reply. James just stared at her as if he was unsure whether to laugh again or start inching away from her.

**Isabela**

She sighed in frustration. Clearly they didn't believe her. Maybe Anders hadn't been lying to her after all. Maybe he really thought banishment spells were a myth. If even mages didn't believe in them, she could hardly expect these soldiers to do so.

"Look. Believe me or not," she huffed. "But it doesn't change the fact that I _am_ lost."

They looked at her silently for a few moments and she did her best not to react to the intentness of Alenko's scrutinizing gaze. Instead she kept her face passive and looked right back, noting the traces of grey at his temples that certainly matched the tiredness in his eyes but at the same time seemed at odds with the fitness of his body.

Once more Vega looked to Alenko and Alenko nodded slowly.

"Fair enough," Alenko said, turning again to resume his walk. "We've got a shot at figuring out where we are. There's no reason not to share the information."

"Thank you." He looked back over his shoulder and shot her a tentative smile. She found herself thinking she would rather like to make him smile some more.

They continued on their way and Isabela smirked a bit when she noticed Vega's approving glances from the corner of her eye. He was certainly appealing enough to look at, and she definitely didn't mind the attention. But she found herself rather distracted by the movement of Alenko's ass as he walked in front of them. She really hoped he had some sort of protective armor for combat situations, because those pants seemed to do absolutely nothing to protect what he had to offer.

Although maybe like her he preferred to focus on stealth and strike when there was little chance of being hit in return. Those weapons he and Vega were carrying looked to have triggers much like a crossbow. Likely that meant they were made for firing from a distance.

She wondered if Alenko would take offense if she asked about the lack of armor. Then she wondered why she was worried about offending someone she had just met. But something about Major Alenko just screamed "challenge" to Isabela, and she was starting to think it was a challenge she wanted to accept. Best to go carefully while she felt the situation out.

After a few more minutes she began to hear voices ahead. The rest of their crew, she supposed. Pity. The more men Alenko had serving underneath him, and it was clear from his interactions with Vega that he was the man in charge, the harder it would be for her to steal his ship. Of course, she was beginning to consider the possibility that such a course of action might not be necessary. She was just starting to find it curious that they had moved so far inland when they rounded a large hill and she stopped short at the sight in front of her.

"Maker's breath!" She loosed the words in a whisper. "What in the name of Andraste is _that_?" The second question came out only marginally louder than the first. Vega seemed to hear it though. He gave her a strange look. For the second time since meeting him she felt like he was questioning her sanity. But he answered  her anyway.

"That's our ship. The Normandy." She could hear the pride in his voice when he named it.

The "ship" was a massive structure of gleaming (but battered) metal. It was larger than most of the buildings in Kirkwall. The Normandy rested at the end of a long scar in the earth, as if it had skidded across the land, tearing it up as it went. If Isabela didn't know better, she would have thought that it had fallen out of the sky.

_Crashed. He said their ship_ crashed _not wrecked._

"It _flies_?" She asked in a strangled voice. Alenko had turned and was watching her with some concern.

"Well, yeah," Vega said, as if the answer was obvious. "What were you expecting?"

Before Isabela could even start to explain that a _ship_ was something that sailed on _water_ , not some metal monstrosity that fell from the sky, she received her second shock in a matter of minutes as a desire demon moved away from the structure and toward them.

**Kaidan**

If he hadn't been watching Isabela so closely, surprised at her reaction to seeing the Normandy, Kaidan wouldn't have noticed the change in time. Isabela's expression went from one of absolute bafflement (mixed, oddly enough, with disappointment) to one of surprised recognition, followed by a mask of deadly focus in less than a heartbeat. As it was, he barely got a stasis field thrown up around her before she could loose the wicked looking knives that had somehow suddenly appeared in her hands. How had he missed noticing those when they first met her?

_Too damn busy being distracted by how she looks,_ he chided himself. _Come on Kaidan, you're better than that._

Isabela let out an indignant squawk when she realized she was immobilized and she shot him a dirty look. She then muttered something under her breath and Kaidan thought he caught the word "mage," but he quickly dismissed it, turning to the source of Isabela's sudden change in demeanor.

"Am I...interrupting?" Liara joined them, looking curiously at Isabela and then questioningly at Kaidan and James. Kaidan wasn't really sure how to answer her question, but Isabela saved him the effort.

"Ooooh!" She quipped, her flippant manner seeming to return. Kaidan wasn't fooled. He could see the deadly intent that remained in her eyes as she looked at Liara. "I've never seen a desire demon bother with wearing clothing before!"

"I beg your pardon?" Liara blinked and then turned to him. "Kaidan, who _is_ this?"

"Oh. You're her thralls then," Isabela said, sounding nothing so much as annoyed. "Great."

" _Excuse_ me??" Liara was still clearly confused but also starting to get insulted. A strange sound broke into the awkward silence. Kaidan and Liara turned to find James doubled over in laughter. Even Isabela was watching him as much as she could given her limited range of movement.

"Damn, Doc!" James braced his hands on his knees, shaking his head and trying to catch his breath. "Desire demon! I've heard a lot of nicknames for asari, but that's a new one!"

Kaidan felt like the situation had completely spiraled out of his control. He was too damn tired for this kind of stuff. He heaved a sigh and looked back at Isabela. She was frowning, her expression now one of puzzlement as her eyes slid back and forth between James' laughter and Liara's complete astonishment.

**Isabela**

Well. Something wasn't right here. She had encountered plenty of desire demons in her time. Certainly more than she would have chosen. Not one of them had ever shown something resembling the confusion this blue creature in front of her seemed to be exhibiting. More than that, none of them had bothered with continuing an illusion once they'd been found out, or with denying what they were. Then there was also the distinct lack of horns. Her skin wasn't really the right shade, either, to be honest.

"Right then," Isabela muttered with a sigh. " _Not_ a desire demon. My apologies. Really though, you can see where someone might make the connection." Except, by the way they were all looking at her, she was realizing that maybe they didn't see at all. She sighed in frustration. The blue woman, Vega had called her Doc, looked back and forth between the three of them and then stepped forward, clearly deciding to move matters along.

"I am Doctor Liara T'Soni," she said introducing herself. Doc must be short for Doctor, Isabela mused, a title or rank of some sort. "Surely if you've never met an asari, you've at least heard of my race before?" She looked truly interested in the answer.

It reminded Isabela of the look Merrill sometimes got when discussing Dalish lore. That comparison put Isabela truly at ease for the first time since she had seen Liara. Alekno--Kaidan?--must have noticed it because from the corner of her eye she saw his stance relax.

"Sorry, Liara," Isabela answered, "but I can't say that I have. It would seem I've been sent far beyond the borders known to my people."

"Sent?" Liara asked, her eyebrows knitting together.

"Isabela here says she's been banished," Vega chipped in by way of explanation. Liara's eyebrows shot back up. "Accidentally, of course. Seems she was somehow transported from wherever she was to wherever here is."

"Transported, really? Well, that is fascinating. I'd love to know how that was accomplished." Vega shook his head and grinned. Isabela heard Kaidan sigh and then felt the invisible bonds holding her dissipate. She sheathed her knives and smirked at him in thanks.

"I would love to tell you all about it, Liara," Isabela purred, taking the woman's arm. "It's a long tale filled with daring exploits and dashing companions," she began. Liara smiled at her and they began to walk toward the Normandy, Vega trailing behind and chuckling.

**Kaidan**

"Wait."

The two women stopped and turned back to where Kaidan still stood. Liara tilted her head, curious at the note of command in his voice, while Isabela just cocked an eyebrow at him. Vega had snapped to attention, he was glad to see. He took a few strides forward, stopping in front of Isabela.

"Your knives," he said, holding out a hand.

"Oh sweet thing, if you think I'm going to just hand those over--"

"Look," he said, interrupting her, "you're welcome to go your own way. But if you want our help figuring out where you are, then I'm making the condition that you be unarmed. You have my word no harm will come to you while you are with us. But after the way you reacted to Liara, I'm not taking any risks. I have to keep my people safe." He tried to ignore James' gloat at that. Yes, fine, he was in charge for now.

"That was just a silly misunderstanding," she started. He cut her off again.

"Have you ever heard of turians? Quarians? Krogan? I've got some of each in my crew, and I'm not. Taking. Any. Chances."

"Fine," she sighed. She pouted as she let go of Liara's arm and handed him the knives. Kaidan made himself hold her gaze, trying to convince himself that he did not find this obviously dangerous woman also incredibly sexy.

_That was easier than I thought it would be_. Isabela smiled at him, and the attempt at innocence reminded him of how he had already underestimated her once today. He looked up, giving her a hard look.

"All of them, please." The smile faded into a scowl. But she didn't bother to protest further. She pulled two more knives out of her boots and a third from the back of her collar. Another pair, which he hazarded a guess had been strapped to her thighs, was produced from under the edge of her not even remotely modest dress. Though when he stopped to look at it (not that he was doing that), he realized it was actually just a long shirt. _Huh._

She crossed her arms and pouted some more while Kaidan stared dumbly at the large pile of knives he now held in his hands. "Don't hold out on me now," he said, looking up at her and smiling expectantly. He had decided to find the humor in the situation, rather than let it annoy him.

"Andraste's ass!" She cursed. He wondered briefly who Andraste might be but then Isabela was pulling a set of small throwing knives out of who knew where and shoving it into his arms. "I hope you're happy now. I'm never so unarmed even when I'm naked!" Kaidan blinked and swallowed, trying not to picture the image that called up.

"Thank you," he managed in a fairly even tone. "You can have them back when you decide to go your own way again."

"Hmph. Well, let's get on with it then." Isabela turned and rejoined Liara, who was doing a poor job of hiding her amusement. James didn't even seem to be trying.

"Right." Kaidan said. "Right. Let's go see if Joker's made any progress in figuring out which planet we're on." The group once more resumed the trip to the Normandy, James picking up Kaidan's bucket of water. Kaidan shot him a grateful smile and the younger man just grinned back in response, clearly enjoying this random turn of events.

**Isabela**

Isabela turned to Liara in surprise.

"When he says what _planet_ we're on..."

Isabela knew about planets, of course. A scholar had once hired her to sail him to every port she knew and as far into the oceans as she dared so that he could record the movements of the stars. He had explained that some of them weren't actually stars at all, but whole worlds, like Thedas itself. He had even shown her the few other planets that shared Thedas' own sun, which he claimed was also a star. The voyage had taken months upon months, but she had enjoyed it immensely. She had only half believed the man, of course, but now...

"Do you mean to tell me that this...ship," she gestured to the Normandy, "flies between the stars themselves?"

"She does when she's working properly," spoke up a tired voice from ahead. She looked up to find a short stocky man with an odd gait making his way over to the group. He looked as if he was in mourning.

Isabela's mind reeled at the idea. She went pale as she realized it might be possible she wasn't even on Thedas at all anymore.

_Surely even Xenon doesn't leave enchantments_ that _powerful just lying around his shop for unwitting customers to pick up._

She glanced down at the amulet around her neck. It did have a decidedly Tevinter look about it. She could imagine that some magisters might think it extremely useful to be able to make an enemy disappear from the face of the planet altogether. It was possible Xenon had just left it sitting out upon acquiring it because he didn't know what it did. Then again, even if he was aware of its purpose, the Antiquarian hadn't really struck her as being overly fond of people in any case.

Still.... The fact that the amulet had been transported with her was reassuring. That it had found its way back to Thedas before seemed to indicate that she might find a way back as well. _Unless it's just never been used before, of course._ She shook her head to dispel that thought. There was no point in worrying about being on another planet until she found out if she actually was. Which meant either waiting for the stars to come out so she could check, or seeing if these people had any information to help her.

Isabela looked back up, trying to follow the conversation that Kaidan was having with the short man. Not a lot of it made much sense to her, but from the sound of things the short man, Kaidan called him Joker, was saying that it would be at least a few more days until the Normandy would be ready to fly again. Her mind boggled at the thought and she eyed the not-ship more carefully, wondering how it achieved such a thing. Clearly these people had access to magic, as Kaidan's earlier demonstration had shown. Perhaps they had somehow figured out how to enchant their ship.

That brought her thoughts back to Kaidan and she took advantage of his distraction to look him over again. He didn't seem very happy about Joker's status report, although the scowl on his face was made somewhat less daunting by the way he was trying to juggle her stash of blades. She bit back a burst of annoyance at herself for capitulating so completely to that request--or at least appearing to, she did have one more knife hidden on herself. But she would rather have these people at least thinking they could trust her. It would leave her more options once she had figured out her situation a little bit better.

Still, she couldn't deny that she rather liked what she saw. Something about this man made her very dearly want to know him better. Preferably by peeling him out of those strange clothes and exploring that tempting body with her hands and mouth.

"Do we at least have any idea where we are yet?" Kaidan asked Joker. The other man shook his head.

"Nope. Sorry, Major. Navigation is still fried and the extranet is glitchy at best. Traynor's trying to raise anyone she can find on the comms, but no joy. If EDI were--" He stopped himself, closing his eyes and swallowing a lump in his throat. Liara placed a hand on his shoulder, an understanding look flashing across her face.

"I know, Joker," Kaidan said softly. His voice had thickened with emotion and the sound of it sent a thrill through Isabela's body. She definitely wanted to get him alone. Soon. "We all miss her," Kaidan continued, and Isabela frowned.

She looked back to the Normandy, noting its scars once more. Likely their crash had been caused by a battle of some kind, she realized. Clearly they'd lost some of their crew. No wonder Kaidan was so protective. Everyone was quiet for a few moments until Vega spoke up, breaking the silence.

"Aw shit, it's not like the Alliance won't be out there looking for us. We can't have been thrown that far off course. Might as well enjoy the vacation while we can." Everyone turned to look at him, their expressions a varying mix of disbelief and disapproval. He just shrugged unapologetically. It seemed to be enough to break Joker out of his gloom.

"Whatever, man," he said, looking around. "Now. Is anyone going to tell me where we found Miss No Pants over here and why the Major seems to have taken up a sudden interest in knife collecting? Or are you just gonna expect me to figure that out on my own too?"

Vega barked out a laugh and Liara rolled her eyes. Kaidan's eyebrows were scrunched together as if he was trying to think of a good way to start explaining. Isabela decided to save him the effort.

"Hello," she said, giving Joker her most winning smile, "I'm Isabela. I've been banished."

It was Kaidan's turn to roll his eyes, but Isabela also caught the quickly suppressed grin her introduction had caused. She smirked. Oh yes. She was getting to him. She could definitely work with that.

**Kaidan**

"Was it the no pants thing?" Joker quipped. "Because let me just tell you. _I_ would never banish you for not wearing pants."

Isabela laughed in response, a deep throaty chuckle that had Kaidan quickly trying to remind himself of the unsexiest things he could possibly think of. With everything that had happened recently, that shouldn't have been hard at all. But Isabela's very presence was insistent and he was finding it hard to think about anything else for very long.

"Oh sweet thing," Isabela said to Joker, " _no one_ has ever banished me for not wearing pants."

Kaidan cleared his throat and tried to focus on the pile of knives in his arms. That reined his thoughts in a bit.

"Isabela seems to have found herself stranded here as well," he told Joker. "She'll be staying with us while we figure out where we are, and then we can all try to figure out how to get back to our respective homes. There was a bit of a misunderstanding when we ran into Liara, though," he added, lifting up the assortment of knives, "so I'm just going to hold her weapons in the armory while she's here." Joker's eyes flicked momentarily to the knives again before being pulled back to Isabela. He gave a low whistle at the deadly collection.

"So, hot, crazy, and dangerous, huh? Should fit in just fine with the rest of the crew." Isabela raised an eyebrow curiously but didn't say anything. Joker winked at Kaidan. "Shepard would be proud of you for continuing his collection, Major." He turned back to Isabela. "Welcome to the Normandy, then!" Joker gave her an appreciative grin. Kaidan wanted to believe it was genuine, but he could still see the hurt in the pilot's eyes. "She's a bit banged up after the crash, but she's still the best damn ship in the galaxy."

At least he was trying to put on a front of normalcy for everyone else now. It was better than the utter silence and despair he had subjected them to after they first crashed. Not that he didn't have a valid reason for his sorrow. Still. They all needed to put those feelings aside while they worked on getting the hell out of here. The time for giving in to grief would come soon enough, he knew.

"Not the kind of ship I'm used to," Isabela said, "but I definitely look forward to a tour."

"Well, hey, I would love to show you around," Joker answered. Kaidan felt an irrational sense of annoyance toward Joker flare up at Isabela's sound of interest.

"Liara can show Isabela around," he interrupted, "and then find her a place to bunk?" He shot a questioning look at Liara and she tilted her head thoughtfully before nodding her agreement. Liara gestured to the newcomer and Isabela followed her into the ship, shooting a wicked smirk at Kaidan before going.

"Joker," he said, trying to ignore the other man's scowl, "Adams told me this morning that he and Tali had a few things they needed you to look at in Engineering."

"Yeah, whatever," Joker muttered, rolling his eyes and then turning to follow the two women. Kaidan turned to James, still holding the buckets of water. The lieutenant gave him a sardonic grin and Kaidan just shook his head in response.

"Come on, let's go get that water into storage and I can put these damn knives away."

"Whatever you say, Vanilla," James laughed at him. "Whatever you say."

_I just don't want Joker making a fool of himself hitting on Isabela, that's all. He's still hurting, it's not a good idea to let him go off half-cocked. Who knows how she would react. Really, it wouldn't be fair to either of them._ He didn't sound convincing even to his own mind. They stepped inside the cool dark interior of the ship and turned for the elevator.

Liara had apparently started the tour with the bridge. Kaidan could hear Isabela making delighted noises as she looked around. He was relieved when the elevator door slid shut, cutting off the sounds from his hearing. Having that woman on the Normandy was already proving to be a massive distraction. He hoped fervently they would figure out where they were soon so she could be on her way.

**Isabela**

She would never admit it, but she was absolutely enchanted by this star ship. Certainly, it was a bit more closed in than her usual taste in ships ran, but Liara had explained that was necessary to survive in space. Such a small name for such a vast ocean of stars. The very idea of sailing between the stars themselves, to different _worlds_... It was appealing to Isabela, to say the least. Liara, for her part, seemed just as fascinated by Isabela as Isabela was by her.

"I've never come across any human who didn't know of the asari, or of space travel, or even _Earth_ before! Humans have been colonizing other planets for some time now, of course, but it hasn't been nearly long enough for a colony to grow and expand and _forget_ that much!" Isabela just shrugged, running a hand along the metal wall of the corridor. Metal walls! Such a thing! Liara wasn't deterred, continuing her thoughts aloud, "I know the Protheans were watching humans evolve at one point. Maybe they took some of them to another planet. Perhaps Javik will know..." She trailed off at Isabela's laughter.

"That one really didn't seem like he wanted anything to do with me," Isabela said with a smile. Liara had introduced her to several crew members, many of them belonging to races other than human. When they had encountered the four-eyed being Liara called Javik, he had taken one look at Isabela, muttered something under his breath that included the word "primitive" and turned on his heel. Liara had been terribly worried that Isabela would take insult at the encounter, but she hadn't been bothered. She had been called much worse things than primitive, after all. Besides, from what she had seen in the short time she'd been aboard, she was beginning to suspect that the epithet might not be too far off when comparing her way of life to that of these people.

"Well." Liara answered, "Maybe you're right. But it does bear looking into at some point. If you've actually been somehow transported off of your world, any knowledge he has might help us get you back there." Isabela nodded thoughtfully. She hadn't considered that--how she would find her world if this wasn't it. "I would dearly love to know how that happened in the first place," Liara interrupted her thoughts. "But I am sure you're tired. It's been an...eventful afternoon. Here, this should do nicely."

Liara led Isabela through a door just before the end of the corridor. It revealed a narrow hall that then opened up into a small room holding several crates, a table, and a chair.

"I'll have a cot and some blankets brought up for you," Liara said, looking around. "I know it's not the most upscale of accommodations, but it will allow you some privacy while you are here.

"Thank you sweet thing," Isabela said, looking around. "Now, seeing as how you've got me all settled in," she leaned against the table, crossing her arms across her chest and her legs at the ankles. "Tell me about the Major."

"I--Kaidan?" Liara blinked, confused at the change of subject.

"Yes, Kaidan, that big hunk of muscle. It seems strange that a mage would be allowed to be an officer in the military, much less put in command of his own ship."

"Kaidan wasn't put in command, exactly," Liara answered, her eyebrows drawn down in thought. "Our commander is...we were separated from him before the crash." Isabela thought Liara had been about to say missing, or maybe dead. She wondered, not for the first time, how these people had ended up crashing here. "The ship is Alliance. Human military," she explained at Isabela's blank look. "Kaidan was the highest ranking officer left, so he's in charge until we can make contact and get orders otherwise."

"Explains why he's so twitchy, I suppose," Isabela mused, "and paranoid. Though I can't say I blame him for wanting to take care of his people. I have friends like that. But that doesn't answer my question. Are mages a normal part of the military, then?"

"I'm not sure what you mean by mage."

"That little display when I, er, mistook your identity. If he hadn't stopped me, well, we likely wouldn't be having this conversation." Liara's mouth twitched into the tiniest of smiles.

"Don't be so sure you would have won the encounter," she said lightly. "I'm not as defenseless as I look." Isabela laughed, giving Liara an appreciative once over. Liara returned to the topic at hand. "You're talking about the stasis field he put up around you?" Isabela nodded.

"Yes. He used magic. Therefore, mage."

"Oh!" Liara's eyes widened in understanding. "That wasn't magic. That was his biotics!"

"Whatever you want to call it, sweet thing, I know magic when I see it."

"But there's no such thing as--" Liara stopped herself, tilting her head in thought. "You know, I believe I would very much like to visit your world, Isabela." She shook herself, returning again to Isabela's question. "Human biotics are still fairly rare, and a rather new development, so yes, most of them are military. It was deemed the best way to train them to use their abilities and ensure they wouldn't hurt anyone accidentally."

"What do you mean by new development?" Isabela asked. Something didn't sound right here.

"Biotics aren't naturally occurring in humans," Liara explained. "Or, at least they weren't before they started exploring space. The abilities are caused by extreme exposure to element zero while very young or still in the womb. Kaidan's mother was pregnant with him when she was exposed, I believe."

"So, he was _made_ this way?" Isabela was appalled. An image of Fenris flashed into her mind. Whatever this element zero was, it must be like lyrium.

"Well, officially it was an accident," Liara said darkly, "but there is some evidence to suggest that unknown parties were trying to pull strings behind the scenes to create human biotics, yes."

"Because they had met other races with the abilities?" It seemed like the only logical deduction to Isabela.

"Yes." Liara nodded. "Biotics are naturally occurring in some of the races humanity has encountered. In the case of my own race, they are even prevalent."

Isabela raised an eyebrow in question and Liara smiled at her, then gave a small frown of concentration. A blue light flared around her and she made a little pushing gesture with her hand. A stack of crates slid across the floor into the wall.

"Well isn't that impressive?" Isabela purred. "I bet that comes in very handy in a fight."

"Yes," Liara said proudly, "it does."

"No wonder the human military wants to snatch everyone like Kaidan up." Liara's demonstration had returned the lighter tone of their conversation and Isabela's mind wandered back to the attractive soldier that they had been initially discussing. "So, Liara, tell me, is he spoken for?"

**Kaidan**

"I hope you know what you're doing." Kaidan turned at the sound of Liara's voice. "Our visitor is going to be a handful," she continued. Then she smirked. Liara. Smirked. "She also seems quite interested in you."

"What was I supposed to do, Liara, just leave her stranded in the jungle?" He rubbed a hand over his eyes, tired, and feeling a headache coming on. Great. That was just great.

What did she mean, Isabela was interested in him?

"Of course not, Kaidan," Liara derailed his train of thought, her smile softening. "But you might have found out a bit more about her before offering her a bunk on the ship." Leave it to Liara to want all of the data up front. He started to answer, to defend his decision maybe, but Liara held up a hand and shook her head, still smiling. "I think it will be alright in the long run. But I will have Glyph keep an eye on her. Just in case."

"Thank you, Liara," he said as she turned to go. "I'll talk to her in a bit, make sure she understands the restrictions for letting her stay."

"Sounds good," Liara stopped at the door, looking back over her shoulder. "She's in Life Support. Let me know before you go talk to her, I'll make sure to put the system on privacy mode." Kaidan felt his eyes go wide as he realized what Liara was implying.

"Liara--" he started, but with a final smirk she was out the door and there was no one left to hear the rest of his objection. Not that he knew what he had been about to say anyway. He sighed and rubbed at his eyes again. Great. Wonderful.

_She thinks I brought Isabela aboard the Normandy because I'm_ attracted _to her._ A small traitorous part of him followed that thought up with, _Well,_ aren't _you?_ He remembered the way he had snapped at Joker for being too friendly with the woman and winced, regretting the action. Joker deserved better than that. Especially from Kaidan.

"It is just so not the time or place for this," he said to the empty room.

He turned to the window behind him, desperately wishing it would show him the blackness of space. What he wouldn't give to have the Normandy up and running, heading back to Earth. To know they were on their way back to find out what, exactly, had happened after the Crucible had been activated. To find Shepard.

Instead, all it showed him was a swath of jungle, reminding him of just how cut off from Earth and answers they really were. James' words from earlier came back to him. _Might as well enjoy the vacation while we can._ Maybe...maybe the lieutenant wasn't too far off the mark after all.

Kaidan had done everything he could to make sure that the crew was safe and stocked up and comfortable until the ship was up and running. He'd organized a duty roster to make sure that Adams and Tali and Joker had all of the help they needed in getting the ship back up and running. Everyone on the crew had enough to do to feel useful while also getting some much needed down time. Kaidan himself wasn't expected anywhere until the morning.

It was as good a time to go see Isabela as any. And maybe...well. Who knew what could happen?

**Isabela**

She had peeked through every crate she could open and inspected every nook and cranny of her temporary new room. As far as she could tell, none of what she found was worth pocketing. A pair of silent soldiers had arrived and set up her cot not long after Liara's departure. They had shot Isabela a few curious looks but neither had said anything other than to ask her where she would like it set up. Bored out of her mind, Isabela had decided to do a little bit of solo exploration.

Of course, there was one problem with that.

She couldn't figure out how to get out of the damn room.

So she was standing in front of the door, examining it closely in what was turning out to be a futile attempt to figure out how to open it when the pesky thing just slid itself out of the way and she found herself face to face with a rather surprised looking Kaidan Alenko.

"Um." He took a hasty step back at finding himself so close to her. "Hello." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking down. "Just, uh," Isabela beamed at him, enjoying his flustered state. It made his voice even huskier. She leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms.

"Something I can do for you, sweetness?" Kaidan blushed and Isabela's grin widened even more. He cleared his throat and tried again.

"I just wanted to see how you were settling in. Make sure the accommodations work for you." He straightened and took a deep breath, bringing his eyes up to meet hers.

"Oh, they're just fine. Apart from the fact that I haven't been able to, you know, _leave_ them." Kaidan's eyebrows rose in surprise. So. Not his doing then. She knew Liara was wilier than she had seemed. Good. Every crew needed someone like that.

"Huh," was all he said though. Then, "May I?" He gestured at the doorway and Isabela stepped back, Kaidan following inside. The door slid shut behind him. He turned to face it and peered at something to the right of the door. "Did you try..." He tapped on a panel that was about shoulder-height to him and the door slid smoothly open once more. He tapped again and the door closed. "Here, you try."

Isabela raised a skeptical eyebrow at him but she sidled up behind him and reached over his shoulder to tap the panel, making sure to press her body against his back. The door opened, just like it had for Kaidan. She risked a sideways glance and saw him swallow, noticed his eyes had slid shut. She smiled to herself.

"Well, now I know," she said archly. True, she hadn't gotten to that panel yet, but she had her doubts as to whether the door would have opened for her if she _had_ found it before Kaidan's arrival.

"Right," Kaidan said, opening his eyes again. He reached up to shut the door. Isabela, curious as to how far he'd let her take it, didn't step back. "So," he said after a moment. Another swallow. "I did want to talk to you, alone," he looked up at the ceiling at the last word. Isabela thought he was just avoiding looking at her, but the pointed way he said it made her wonder. "We should probably go over the, er, ground rules for you staying here." Isabela did step back at that. Just a tiny step, but enough to break the contact.

"Ground rules?" She asked, teasing. Kaidan turned around, seeming surprised to find her still so close. "I'm not overly fond of rules, sweetness."

"Well, be that as it may, this is still an Alliance vessel. I am sure you can understand that there will be some areas where access is restricted. You probably shouldn't leave the crew deck without an escort, to be honest. It's, um, it's nothing personal." He looked away again.

"Oh? Are _you_ going to be my escort Kaidan?" She ran a finger up along his arm. He shivered at the touch and closed his eyes again. He took a deep breath and then opened them, meeting her gaze. The heat in his eyes was enough to make _her_ shiver.

"Is that what you'd prefer, Isabela?" His voice made her breath catch. For the first time, he initiated the touch, reaching up and tracing her jaw, resting a hand against her neck.

"Oh it _is_ ," she answered, stepping forward to close the gap between them once more. "In fact, I think it might be a condition of my compliance, _Major_."

Kaidan chuckled, deep and throaty and the sound did all sorts of pleasant things to Isabela's insides.

"I think I can live with that," he whispered, pulling her face to his and kissing her.

**Kaidan**

Isabela really hadn't struck him as the kind of woman to relinquish control easily, so he was hardly surprised when she took charge of the kiss, plundering his mouth with her tongue, nipping at his lips with her teeth. Kaidan didn't mind. For the first time in a long time he found he _wanted_ to give up control, to let someone else call the shots.

Which Isabela was doing a remarkably fine job at, really. She continued kissing him, mouthing her way down his throat and then back up again. Her hands attacked his shirt, pulling it out of his pants, sliding up underneath, running her nails up his stomach. He groaned at the sensation. It had been a long time since he's been with anyone. Too damn long.

He slid his free hand around her waist, pulling her to him even more tightly. His other hand, still on her neck, he moved up into her hair, coming his fingers through it. She moaned in appreciation and he smiled into her lips.

Isabela worked a hand into his pants, rubbing his cock through his underwear, causing him to groan again. He slipped a hand under the edge of her shirt, grabbing her ass. Isabela pushed his briefs out of the way and took him in hand, giving him a firm squeeze and eliciting a yelp. She laughed against his throat and began to stroke him. Kaidan leaned back, his head slamming against the door. One hand tightened in Isabela's hair, the other on her ass.

"Maybe," she purred in his ear, licking the edge before continuing, "we should move this to somewhere with better leverage?" She shot a look back over her shoulder, indicating the room behind them.

"Mmm. I like the way you think," he breathed.

Isabela turned and sauntered into the room. Kaidan was so entranced by the sway of her hips it took him a moment to realize she had stopped in front of the table, rather than the cot.

"Well? Come on," she laughed, turning to face him and hopping up to sit on the table, her legs spread.

"Right! Coming!" Kaidan blushed and then stammered, "I mean, yeah. On my way," he was already halfway to her. She just laughed and pulled him in between her legs, taking hold of his cock again and pulling it out of his underwear.

She scooted her ass to the edge of the table and locked her legs around his waist, lifting up the edge of her shirt and pushing her panties out of the way. She lined him up and Kaidan took his cue from there, pushing inside of her with a quick thrust. A small part of his mind protested that this was too fast. They should slow down, do this right. That part was quickly silenced by Isabela's moans of pleasure though.

"Oh, Maker, _yes_ ," she breathed, pulling him in for another kiss.

**Isabela**

_Oh this was the best idea_ ever _. Almost worth being banished in the first place._

Kaidan thrust in and out of her, panting in her ear, and she turned her head, capturing his mouth in a kiss. She felt his lips smile against hers, and he reached a hand down under her shirt to rub her clit with his thumb, sending added jolts of pleasure through her body. His thrusts began to stutter and she tilted her hips up, pulling him closer with her legs. She bit down on his neck and he cried out as he came, his hand faltering in its movements.

She reached down and laced her fingers through his, pulling his hand away. She gave him a peck on the cheek and whispered into his ear.

"We'll go slow next time, sweetness, you can get me then." He shivered and then gave a low throaty laugh.

"Next time, huh?" He rubbed his other hand up and down her back.

"Oh yes," she purred, "after all, there's no telling how long I'll be here, is there?" He shook his head and then kissed her lightly. He squeezed her hand and smiled at her, resting his forehead against hers. They stayed like that for a few moments, still joined, Kaidan rubbing her back. It felt very nice, actually. In fact, it was starting to make her tingle all over...

Isabela's eyes flew open. "Oh, _shit_!" She whsipered.

The room disappeared around them.

The next thing she knew, Isabela was landing on her ass on a rough wooden floor, Kaidan coming down on top of her.

"What the hell?" He scrambled off of her and looked around the dark shop frantically, hastily doing up his pants when he realized they were no longer alone.

"Well well well. Rivaini," Varric chuckled. "I see you made a friend while you were away."

Isabela cursed under her breath and straightened her own clothing, glad for the gloomy atmosphere in Xenon's shop. Not that she was embarrassed, but Hawke was giving her a look that suggested she was going to be hearing about this particular adventure for some time to come.

"Oh! By the Dread Wolf, how did that happen!" Merrill was staring at Kaidan with wide eyes. "The spell was only supposed to bring Isabela back from wherever it was she went to. It shouldn't have brought back _two_ people!"

Varric cleared his throat, clearly not relishing explaining this to Merrill. Fenris just snorted and rolled his eyes.

"I will explain it to you later, Merrill," Hawke said, grinning. "In the meantime, Isabela, are you going to introduce us to your friend?" He reached out a hand to help her up from the floor.

"I don't see why," she answered, turning to find Kaidan standing and brushing himself off. "Are you alright?" She tried to ignore the twinge of guilt at seeing the worry on his face.

"I'm almost entirely certain I'm _not_ , actually," Kaidan answered, looking around with a grimace.

"We'll find a way to get you back," she told him. She turned to Merrill. "Kitten, do you think you could reverse whatever you just did?"

"The spell was tied to the amulet, Isabela," the elf answered. "I can't retrieve its wearer when it is right here."

"The amulet!" Isabela cried. She pulled the bauble from around her neck, thrusting it into Kaidan's hands. She jumped back and looked at him expectantly.

Nothing happened.

Kaidan looked down at the trinket in his hands and then up at Isabela, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Oh dear," Merrill said. Kaidan sighed.

"Well." Hawke clapped his hands together and everyone turned to look at him. "It doesn't seem like we're going to be solving this new...dilemma right now. Why don't we regroup and see if we have more luck in the morning?" He turned and strode out of the shop without waiting for an answer, the others falling in line behind him.

Kaidan sighed again.

"Don't fret, sweetness," Isabela said, taking his arm and leading him to the exit. "We'll get you back to your crew. The amulet worked once. Merrill will find a way to make it work again."

"I hope so," he replied. "Don't get me wrong. That was...yeah. And I would love to do it again. But, well, my people."

"I know, Kaidan," she told him, patting his arm in understanding. "I really do." After all, she'd had crews of her own to look after, hadn't she? That thought stopped her short and she turned to him, beaming. "Do you realize what this means?"

"What?"

"Now I get to show you _my_ ship!" Kaidan chuckled and Isabela, delighted, led him out of Xenon's and into Kirkwall.

**End**

**Author's Note:**

> Isabela's only being so nice to Kaidan because it hasn't dawned on her yet that all of her knives are still on the Normandy.


End file.
